Giving her just one orgasm is cause for celebration. But any woman who can climax once can probably cross the finish line again—and again, says Ian Kerner, Ph.D., author of She Comes First: The Thinking Man’s Guide to Pleasuring a Woman.
It’s a biological gift: You have to wait for your refractory period to pass before you’re ready for round two, but women don’t seem to experience the same reloading phase, says Men’s Health sex advisor Debby Herbenick, Ph.D. She could experience her second wave of pleasure in as little as 1 minute.
But just because she can come twice doesn’t mean she will. Studies suggest that only 14 to 40 percent of women have had multiple orgasms in one session.
How do you help her become one of the lucky ones? First, make sure that’s what she wants. Some women would rather cuddle after climaxing than be pressured into an encore.
Next, remember that women differ dramatically on how they can achieve one orgasm, let alone two. So although there’s no one roadmap, try these tips to boost your chances of doubling (or tripling) her pleasure.
And don’t forget to keep her happy outside the bedroom. ReadThe Better Man Project for more than 2,000 simple ways to improve your relationship, take control of your health, and live a kick-ass life!
Step 1: Create massive sexual tension.
Building up desire is a precursor to any sexual activity. But creating copious amounts of sexual tension can be just what she needs to achieve a bonus orgasm.
It’s like when you’re famished: You eagerly scoff down your meal and then go back for seconds and thirds. “You want her to retain her feelings of overall arousal when her body starts to relax after having the first orgasm,” says Amie Harwick, author of The New Sex Bible for Women.
So tease her early and often: Text her a sexy message in the morning, cop a feel under the table at dinner, and indulge in some PDA. By the time you get to bed, she should be extra, er,hungry for sex.
That way, when she has her first orgasm, she may still be up for seconds.
Step 2: Keep her idling.
After she climaxes, give her clitoris a short break—it becomes super sensitive for many women immediately after sex, Kerner says. But don’t stop the action completely: Spend a minute or two making out and attending to her breasts, butt, and any other favorite non-genital hotspots. Whisper in her ear about how beautiful she looks.
Your goal: Keep her in a semi-aroused state so you don’t have to start from scratch to bring her to her second peak.
Step 3: Rev it back up.
After a woman has an orgasm, the blood that rushes to her genitals during sex lingers, making it easier for her to climax again, Kerner says.
Prime her for round two with dirty talk, he suggests. Try something like, “That was so hot—I need you again!”
(Want more naughty inspiration? Check out The Best Things to Say before, during, and after Sex.)
Then return your attention to her genitals. “Start with a light touch,” Kerner says. “Try lightly circling your finger or tongue over her clitoris slowly, and then work up to more extreme stimulation with an increasingly faster pace, more pressure, and intensity until she’s ready to go again.”
Step 4: Try a new route.
There’s nothing wrong with sticking with what works—but you can also try bringing her to orgasm by attending to a different erogenous zone.
This can work particularly well if her clitoris is still sensitive from round one. Plus, novelty encourages the release of the feel-good chemical dopamine, which may help her orgasm faster, says Kerner.
Aim for her G-spot with positions like woman on top or doggystyle. Feeling more adventurous? Some women can climax from nipple stimulation, research finds.
Lightly trace circles on her nipples with your fingers or tongue, building pressure as you go, or try sucking on them.
Want to crank it up another notch? Stimulate the area between her vagina and anus with your tongue, suggests Ava Cadell, Ph.D., author of Idiot’s Guides: The Kama Sutra. Some women find it mind-blowing—but you may want to check with her first.
